wordwar with a narrow-minded reggae "lover"

here is an excerpt from my tagging brouhaha in juniorkilat.com... i don't dislike blackjack for being that way... i love everyone, every bisayas, even with their-- our-- differences...

wisdomeweed:ur da one who ruins reggae muzik... peeps like you... shuddup na lng diha,... ***peace***
nur hussien:Asa man ko kakita og cd ani hehehe horot na ang stock nla sayang....... idol man nko jrkilat!!!..... ^_^
BLACKJACK:TO wisdomweed:BISAYA PEOPLE ISNOT STUPID..LIKEJUNIOR KILAT..PLEASE SAVE REGGAE MUSIC..STOPLISTENNING TO JUNIORKILAT...THEY GONNA KILL THEGENRE LIKE WAT ERASERHEADS DIDTO ALTERNATIVE MUSIC..
wisdomweed:hi to jad...
wisdomweed:blackjack, read ur earlier posts... no such thing as 'stupid moron', redundant na man na noh d bla? dli ka mgjudge sa uban ug naa man ka imohang idiosyncracies..
wisdomweed:bisaya peeps are looked down on because even some bisayas themseleves look down on their peeps
wisdomweed:mga gustong i-add ko sa friendster, gimme ur email adds para kewl ta tanan
BLACKJACK:TO wisdomweed:BOB MARLEY IS LEGEND URRIGHT..PERO JUNIOR KILAT? NO WAYCOPYCAT MANA SILA NI MAXSURBAN...f**k..THE BISAYA PEOPLEARE BEING LOOK DOWNEDAGAIN..KAPA MO..
wisdomweed:PEACE TA TANAN MGA PASAWAY.. one good thing about reggae or any form of musik is it brings peeps together. emancipate yourself from mental slavery, dli mo mang-away2 n. feel da muzik mon!!!
wisdomweed:dli ah... maybe im just juniorkilat-biased. juniorkilat is one of the best. just respect other peeps. there's no good or bad in muzik. it's other people's probs if they don't appreciate certain muzik
JOHN:ADD MO NAMAN AKO FRIENDSTER MO!!PRA OPoD TA buDoy
wisdomweed:add nyo ako rasta peeps... tiffy_08@yahoo
BLACKJACK:TO wisdomweed:BOB MARLEY IS LEGEND URRIGHT..PERO JUNIOR KILAT? NO WAYCOPYCAT MANA SILA NI MAXSURBAN...f**k..THE BISAYA PEOPLEARE BEING LOOK DOWNEDAGAIN..KAPA MO..
JOHN:ADD MO NAMAN AKO FRIENDSTER MO!!PRA OPAD TA buDoy
BLACKJACK:TO wisdomweed:MAY LEGEND BA NAANG LYRICS LIGAYA OR ANO BANGSTUPID MORON NA KANTA LIKE MAGDRIVE...UNSA MAY NAKA LEGEND SAJUNIOR KILAT? STUPID OG COPYCATMANA SILA..KAPA MO
wisdomweed:bob marley, absolute legend... can't argue with that... peace mon.. ;-)
BLACKJACK:TO wisdomweed:ERASERHEADS LEGEND? MAY LEGENDBA NA PAGO BAGO ANG PANGALAN?LIKE CAMBIO AT KONG ANO ANOPA..KAPA MO EHEADS..NO WAY..BOBMARLEY IS A LEGEND...JOHN LENNONIS A LEGEN..TUPAC IS LEGEND...
wisdomweed:the eheads is a legend, just like what juniorkilat is... shuddup, blackjack
jhen marley:diba i told you nga yxy as soon as possible..........god bless.......
Wilky aka WiLLeM:Kuya Errol kumusta kana?d kita makontak sa cell mo
BLACKJACK:PLEASE SAVE REGGAE MUSIC..STOPLISTENNING TO JUNIORKILAT...THEY GONNA KILL THEGENRE LIKE WAT ERASERHEADS DIDTO ALTERNATIVE MUSIC..

24 hours in a day aren''t enough

the week's about to end and i've only had a total of around 9 hours' worth of sleep since sunday until today, friday.
looking back, i wonder what i have been doing, which weren't much, i suppose, since i've still got TONS to do.

this brings back why i hated sleeping before. for a soon-to-be workaholic (if im not already one right now), sleep is like a waste of time. who can afford to slumber for even an hour when you've got a pile of books and handouts to read? who would even think of sleeping when you've still got to do your term paper, reports, case studies, scripts, and Jah knows what else? Plus, i've still got this side dish of a task: i have to take care of my 1-year-old sister. actually, it's more like a dessert, something so sweet that it gives you toothaches at times. it's not like i don't want to be with my adorably pretty little sister. it's just that like a dessert, it's yummy but you get nothing much out of it except a dollop of fat that slows you down. i need the nutrients to keep me going and i honestly don't have time for temporary highs. sorry, little sis. when my sh*t's over, i'll have nuff time to watch you grow up. (OMG... i'm really becoming a workaholic! sheesh..!)

anyway, like time, money just seem to fly by. this week, i wasted it on capris end esses, on many things i don't even remember now. i stil have to have my belly pierced. been saving for that for some time... but my money seems to run away with my whims...

i want a hot cup of coffee at this moment... feels so cold. yeah... ***ecstatic thoughts*** coffee and sobranie...!!!! woohoo.. i wish i'm with ate xyldrae right now. she'll help me save myself.

umpteenth dale ish

As usual, this would be about Dale...

Spent most of last week with him despite him and me both having the flu. Got a sort of a promise ring... something i would have thought as pointlessly overboard but now i think it just fits right into the dale-tiffy picture. ho-hum...

I raged war with my 54-year-old witch of an aunt. she have been making hell out of our house because of her big mouth and her malicious presence. she has always been prying into everything. i just bursted with rage triggered by her making undeserved nasty comments about dale.

so what if dale looks like someone with a harelip? he got into a terrible motorcycle accident about two years ago. now, he doesn't look like he used to. a person's tragedy and physical appeareance is not something to laugh about, especially if that person being laughed means something to me. no one has a right to spread nasty and malicious rumors and comments about anyone. no onw has a right to make fun of a person's physical appearance. and with my tita, i just got so angry since she--like any person--has no right to make fun of a person who means almost everything to me. how dare she laugh at her with her hihg-pitched witching laughter that just brims with malice? how dare she???

ha. i don't regret that she left our house. we never liked her anyway. she just ruins everyone's mood by giving unsolicited and destructive comments. she just ruins my family. so she's better off far away from us and from me. she have deeply hurt me by saying bad things about myself, my mother, and dale.

as i've mentioned earlier, yes, dale got into a motorcycle accident that left his face scarred. personally, i was quite awed by my own self since i still love him after all that happened to him, after all that have and have not happened to our relationship. me, who used to raise an eyebrow at people without any common, much less fashion, sense. me, who felt pity for the disabled...me, who used to be detached and indifferent towards those who aren't 'beautiful,' as the world perceives it.

before, i tested myself whether i would still love dale despite what happened to him physically. that test showed that whatever THIS is isn't based on the superficial, not easily discouraged by difficulties, not easily affected by people's prejudice.

dale being in manila is like another test whether i would continue to feel good being with and around him. it was a test if i could still continue holding his hands in public and showing our affection in front of the people here who are obviously more interested in what's skin deep and less accepting when it comes to what they believe is unattractive or undesirable. i'd like to say i passed the test. even more, there's this pride which fills me whenever i walk beside him and people look at us. i feel a warm sense of pride because here beside me, holding my hand, is a beautiful person who has affected my life in so many ways.

this may sound crazy or extremely and unbearably mushy. it's just that i never felt this before about other people, other guys. i just believe that LOVE (and not the banal love everyone is talking about) comes rarely in a life of a person. LOVE came and happened into mine, so i wouldn't deprive myself of expressing and relishing it.

what a monday

AUG16-- I've got colds today... but i'm glad i got it from Dale.
Anyway, yesterday was not much of a game, so i can't give an exciting play-by-play. Sports-wise, the last two minutes were a blur. dale and i weren't any good at offense, much less at defense.. especially when my mother came. i must say she stole the scene, although she herself was unconscious of it.
I could have done what i have wanted to do now that Dale's here but many things put me on the reigns of my actions and my emotions. i felt trapped: still happy yet quite unsatisfied. Saying those makes me feel like some stuck up ingrate since i know i should have done my part to make that day what it really should be. Dale has done his-- he still went to manila even though he's so sick he couldn't really stand up long enough without getting red and dizzy all over. and his mom was such a darling, too. so i know i should complain. things just happen the way they ought to happen...
Anyway, I got a ring from him... actually, he bought us a pair. Soon, it would be for real... if you know what i mean when it comes to what rings signify to couples...

what a monday

AUG16-- I've got colds today... but i'm glad i got it from Dale.
Anyway, yesterday was not much of a game, so i can't give an exciting play-by-play. Sports-wise, the last two minutes were a blur. dale and i weren't any good at offense, much less at defense.. especially when my mother came. i must say she stole the scene, although she herself was unconscious of it.
I could have done what i have wanted to do now that Dale's here but many things put me on the reigns of my actions and my emotions. i felt trapped: still happy yet quite unsatisfied. Saying those makes me feel like some stuck up ingrate since i know i should have done my part to make that day what it really should be. Dale has done his-- he still went to manila even though he's so sick he couldn't really stand up long enough without getting red and dizzy all over. and his mom was such a darling, too. so i know i should complain. things just happen the way they ought to happen...
Anyway, I got a ring from him... actually, he bought us a pair. Soon, it would be for real... if you know what i mean when it comes to what rings signify to couples...

MUSHY Alert!! (^.^)

(WARNING: the following would be too mushy to bear. I hope my friends won't disown me because of this entry.. eek!!)

Sleeps With Butterflies

by Tori Amos

Airplanes

Take you away again

Are you flying

Above where we live

Then I look up a glare in my eyes

Are you having regrets about last night

I'm not but I like rivers that rush in

So then I dove inIs there trouble ahead

For you the acrobatI won't push you unless you have a net

You say the word

You know I will find you

Or if you need some timeI don't mind

I don't hold on to the

Tail of your kite

I'm not like the girls that you've known

But I believe

I'm worth coming home to

Kiss away night

This girl only sleeps with butterflies

With butterflies

So go on and fly then boy

Balloons

Look good from on the ground

I fear with pins and needles around

We may fall then stumble

Upon a carousel

It could take us anywhere

I'm not like the girls that you've known

But I believe I'm worth coming home to

Kiss away night

This girl only sleeps with butterflies

With butterflies

With butterflies

So go on and fly boy

The way these poetic words fall into melody reminds me of a dream I had when I was a child. And now, as some sort of a grown up, it falls right into place with what I feel about knowing someone and having him from afar, waiting for that next time when Fate would take notice of me and bring him and me back together.

Still, I get a little twitch with the whispered tones of someone who is still alone despite the fact that you're with somebody... whatever. this song is just something.

Now, this song is just THE song as i think of AUG15 and what that date promises. Plus, listening to LIFEHOUSE is just an experience, something similar whenever I have a hot cup of cafe Americano in my hands during a rainy day...

You And Me

by: Lifehouse

What day is it?

And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

I can't keep up and I can't back down

I've been losing so much time

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to lose

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right

I'm tripping on words

You've got my head spinning

I don't know where to go from here

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

There's something about you nowI can't quite figure out

Everything she does is beautiful

Everything she does is right

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to lose

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

And me and all of the people with nothing to do

Nothing to prove

And it's you and me and all of the people

And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?And in what month?

This clock never seemed so alive

**continuation**

AUG09--Here's a continuation of something that may be insignificant to most...

And as selectively naive as i tend to be for things that only i dare to understand and perceive as something more than naivete, I could strongly say that i could --and would-- give up the "more important" things that are expected by most to be on the top of my pseudo-list of priorities. I could give those up for something earthly and at the same time, Divine.

Still, if that "EVENT" would truly come true next week is still a matter of patience and of Fate, if she would be so kind to allow two people to spend precious rareties together.

ho-hum..

i just hope wishes DO come true...

when the divine subdues hopeful Trust's disappointment

SUNDAY MORNING

when the Divine subdues hopeful Trustul's disappointment

Just when i was starting to accept the fact that Dale has more important things to do in school that he won't be able to go to Manila with his Mom on Aug15 (^grr...!^), he finally admitted that indeed, he'll go here.

It was sunday morning of Aug07, when i was busy preparing for the celebration of my sister's 1st birthday, when Dale called. He said Tita told him last night that I won't be able to go to her hotel in Malate by 7am 'coz i have to go to school and that I may be there by afternoon, when classes are over. Then Dale admitted what he's been trying to deny in hopes of surpriseng me: he'll be with tita in Manila. I was so relieved that I barely managed to suppress a gleeful shout. I even found myself crying. Ha! who in the world could be happier after finding out that the one you love and been waiting for to see after 3 months of being away from each other, will finally be toghter!!

***to be continued...***

bonding with dale's mom

FRIDAY, AUG5--okay, now i really really feel like THE girlfriend everyone's doting for (at least this applies to dale's side).
about ten days from now, tita linda (dale's mom) would be going to manila. she's going to stay there for a week. now, dale has been telling me to accompany his mom... (uuyy...) bonding?!?
hehehe... this is a bit cute and.. well, i dunno.. it just gives me a warm feeling to know that i'll be with tita linda, remembering how she has always treated me like her own daughter. she even cooked my favorite food whenever i go there at their place. i hope i would make a good impression like before since this time, we are in a different place entirely.

*_* I wish Dale could also come with tita in Manila... ^^sigh^^


JUSTPLAY ISH1
when it comes to my staff, i couldn't ask for more. combined, they make a super sports section... except there's one element missing: ate xyl.
sans xyldrae, the HF sports section is one genius short.

scheduled for release on aug 3, i hope we could all make it in time

bac(k)olod

Bac(k)olod: back to where many things began...

Come October, the 10th Unigames would --once again-- be held in Bacolod. Hopefully, it's still in the University of St. La Salle (USLS), just like last year. As early as now, i'm looking forward to going to that place as if i'm someone who has never been there all my life and i'm eagerly going there like a lured tourist hypnotized by all the heard beauty of the place.

FYI, i go there every summer, for as long as i can remember in my 19 years of tumultuous existence.
And yet, knowing that i would go back there at that time of the year (for the second time to mark last year's moments) seems to fill me with a kind of anticipation that makes me look forward with new eyes (figuratively).

Now, what happened in Bacolod last year during the 9th Unigames coverage by the HF staff (tiff, xyl, purpz, ate dodith, and jp)?

• my first sports coverage, wherein i stood by the pool, wet feet below and wet head above (it was drizzling). notebook and pen in my hand, i was jotting down the tankers and their rankings that afternoon.
• my first sports articles for heraldo filipino... it was just so-so that time sportswriting, i mean. i was just thinking:im doing my job as an HF writer and not as a sportswriter
• my first experience of running in hiding from a viciously possessive suitor who's a medical professional and 8 years my senior. hehehe i remember that time like it was a scene fom an action movie. running, ducking and dodging here and there. hiding in one inconspicuous corner and the carefully peeking and looking around so cautiously as if my life depended on it. i was with ate dodith that time (i wonder how she is right now).
• my first time to have a real conversation with ate xyldrae. this was the time i found out how we had so many things in common and that we're speaking, thinking, and living life in the same spectrum of light and enlightenment.
• my first time to see dale after his motorcycle accident.
• my first time to get back with him after more than a year of separation and silence.
• my first time to go to his apartment and get myself drunk over rum and grape juice. that was also the first time i felt incomparably secure and peaceful alone with a guy whom i know understands me like no other.
• my first chance to meet a horde of athletes and think of them as mere jocks (and that was the first and last time, mind you).
• my first time to ever fully realize and discover for myself that my reason for a feel-good something to feel and live for

sweetest, most thoughtful thing today

WARNING: I'm in my ultra-mushy mode. ^^,

The sweetest, most thoughtful thing someone told me today was this:

"...i miss alexa like missed freethrows..."

The text message was not about me. Ate Xyldrae refers to my adorable and very endearing 11-month-old sister Alexa.

Talk about missing someone, I miss DALE badly. The impact of that fact just crashed into me when he called me yesterday. Hearing his voice through my cell phone just made me think that I would still continue to hear him that way for more months and for many more times to come. Yes, long-distance relationships suck big time.
And so, my tears started welling up in my eyes as I tried to sound okay on the phone for his sake.

DAMN you, Time and Distance.

nuther bout of bigamy, eh?

nuther bout of bigamy, eh?

thursday,august 4, could be a turning point of my not-so-short life of seeming unavailability.
don wants to go out with me on thurs, i don't know if that's a good thing since secretly (at least, he doesn't know), i'm taken. (read:Dale).
now, i say that thursday is a turning point since after around five courting guys, two big fights, 3 months of separation, and the distance, nothing and no one-- and nothing-- else have succeeded in dampening whatever it is that i feel for the "far-away guy."
before don came, i was doing good. i have no qualms whatsoever when it comes to commitments and loyalties (although i admit those are my biggest weaknesses for reasons that i hold certain personal beliefs). but then, there's just something about him which i never expected to see the first time i saw him. pardon me for being mushy (i'm overcoming this stage of idiosyncracy), it's just that he's a jock, alright; however, he doesn't really seem like one at that first time. maybe there's just something in the way he held my hand longer than necessary when we shook hands (aw, man! am i this deprived of human contact???)... or in the way his face were like open windows to what he is, initially.
before don came, i was very much convinced i won't ever have second thoughts about dale. before don came, i was quite certain there's no man-- or woman-- alive who can compete with my affections for dale. but what the F! don came, it was only the first time we met, and he's got this something which made quite an impression on me. Don made me gush, shriek, and shout at the top of my lungs as if i'm a highschool girl bawling over her hunk of a crush. eek!! ( i can't believe i could go back and step down to that level) what i can't believe more is that the gush, shriek, and shout at the top of my lungs episode happened to me for the first time in quite a very long time. it's a bit strange...so strange that i really can't place a word on what it is, on what's going on with me liking that don guy.
arrgh... i don't like this feeling, whatever this is.