okay, okay, it only lasted for hours

yes, what i thought as a total reformation from a "bigamist" life turned out to be... uhmmm... poof! nothing... i wasn't able to really stand by the decision. for some reason, losing him that time was like losing something precious, which i first believe he isn't. i remembered walking along the university avenue not looking forward to the end of the day when we'll see each tother. damn... that was the first time in months when i felt awfully alone
Less than ten hours after... i called the herculean knight back. and here he is again.
it's funny coz after all that i've done, he's still the one who apologized for making me choose when he knows i've already chosen someone else long before he came to the picture.. so back to the life, if i could call it that since practically, all i feel is a kind of numbness. if i know what a zombie feels (i mean, doesn't feel.. whatever), maybe this is a bit like it.

my rebirth... [as a so-called monogamist]

As of now, I don't really know if i should be completely happy with this new sense of liberation of being tied to just one ___... i am not really sure if i made the right decision last night when i agreed to break away from _______. last night i was just sad because my Sunshine's sad... now, i'm sad because i know i lost a treasure. but then, maybe it wasn't really mine in to begin with. it wasn't really mine because i didn't concede to be bask solely and completely in its light.
my sunshine's gone... and i hope it's for good. i just can't stand thethoughtthat it's just there, so near, so untouchable in its brightness and its vuonerability towards me.
my sunshine's gone... but then i have the warmth of my Love to hold me close. and that, for me, is enough. or at least i would like to believe so.