nuther bout of bigamy, eh?

nuther bout of bigamy, eh?

thursday,august 4, could be a turning point of my not-so-short life of seeming unavailability.
don wants to go out with me on thurs, i don't know if that's a good thing since secretly (at least, he doesn't know), i'm taken. (read:Dale).
now, i say that thursday is a turning point since after around five courting guys, two big fights, 3 months of separation, and the distance, nothing and no one-- and nothing-- else have succeeded in dampening whatever it is that i feel for the "far-away guy."
before don came, i was doing good. i have no qualms whatsoever when it comes to commitments and loyalties (although i admit those are my biggest weaknesses for reasons that i hold certain personal beliefs). but then, there's just something about him which i never expected to see the first time i saw him. pardon me for being mushy (i'm overcoming this stage of idiosyncracy), it's just that he's a jock, alright; however, he doesn't really seem like one at that first time. maybe there's just something in the way he held my hand longer than necessary when we shook hands (aw, man! am i this deprived of human contact???)... or in the way his face were like open windows to what he is, initially.
before don came, i was very much convinced i won't ever have second thoughts about dale. before don came, i was quite certain there's no man-- or woman-- alive who can compete with my affections for dale. but what the F! don came, it was only the first time we met, and he's got this something which made quite an impression on me. Don made me gush, shriek, and shout at the top of my lungs as if i'm a highschool girl bawling over her hunk of a crush. eek!! ( i can't believe i could go back and step down to that level) what i can't believe more is that the gush, shriek, and shout at the top of my lungs episode happened to me for the first time in quite a very long time. it's a bit strange...so strange that i really can't place a word on what it is, on what's going on with me liking that don guy.
arrgh... i don't like this feeling, whatever this is.